3 Important Questions to Consider If You May Be Love Avoidant
Being love avoidant can cause you to miss out on a lot in life, yet too many people ignore it out of fear. After all, some misunderstand therapy as something that is only for those who are struggling with mental illness; yet it is widely becoming accepted as a tool to help anyone who wants to examine themselves and thrive.
One of the things that often leads people to therapy is love, and learning how to let go of being love avoidant can greatly enrich your life. If you think you may be love avoidant, ask yourself the following questions:
Ask Yourself: Are you deeply afraid of inadequacy when it comes to dating and sex?
Being afraid of being "good enough" to be loved or simply not being adequate in the areas of romance, dating, and sex can make it easier to stay away from these things altogether. If you don't have to face them, you don't have to face being "bad" at them. However, the flip side of that is missing out on all the wonderful things they can bring to your life. A therapist can help you work through the underlying causes of being love avoidant that can stem from these fears.
Ask Yourself: Do you often go after romance but refrain from committing?
Oftentimes someone who is love avoidant will make a strong effort to pursue someone, yet not follow through on any type of commitment. The search for love can become about conquests, but those may be ultimately very unfulfilling when the idea of commitment scares you away. If you had a great deal of loss in childhood or adulthood, you may fear losing someone again, so it may feel easier to avoid the commitment altogether.
Ask Yourself: Do you prefer the safety of fantasy to romance in the real world?
Many people get carried away with fantasy, and it can fill part of the void that occurs when one is love avoidant. One may frequently go to strip clubs or spend a great deal of money on pornography to indulge in fantasies that cannot be fulfilled. Some people turn to prostitutes to avoid the emotional intimacy of a relationship, allowing their fantasies to continue. Ultimately, though, the fantasies will be a poor substitution of the richness one can experience in real relationships.
Finally, if you answered yes to any of these questions, it may very well be worth speaking to a therapist about your feelings. A counselor can help you examine how you can make better choices that can help you create the love-filled life that you deserve.
Your mental health doesn't need to be at risk to get a lot out of counseling. Reach out to a center like T M S Center of Nebraska LLC for more information.