5 Ways To Improve Communication With Your Spouse

Being involved with a marriage is a difficult proposition. There are numerous things that you generally have to deal with when it comes to being married to someone: taking care of your potential children, your finances, your living situation, etc. The list goes on and on. However, there is one thing that all of these phenomenon have in common: they all require communication to be the foundation of these things adequately or smoothly working. There are certain things that you can do to ensure that you foster a good sense of communication between you and your spouse. The matter is a two way street, and both of you will have to make sure to work on these issues. Included in this guide are 5 ways to improve communication with your spouse.

First Response

Many people tend to think that they have a right to respond in kind to a person who is trying to "pick a fight with them" — many a times this person is their spouse. It is important to not fall into this kind of mindset. By lashing out in kind, you are perpetuating the phenomenon of fighting and, as such, you should be the bigger person. Take a deep breath and think about the situation. Answer calmly, and don't act in a visceral manner. Think the issue through. It's important to respond in an adult fashion.


It is sometimes very difficult to listen to a person, even if that person is the person that you love the absolute most. As such, it is important to listen. This might even consist of forcing yourself to listen to an issue that you do not want to hear about or, speaking frankly, you may not even care about. Have your partner repeat issues to you, just to make sure that you know what you are hearing. It's important to have active listening skills, as well. Make sure that you're processing what your spouse is saying and not simply "hearing" it.


There is, of course, the old adage, "Honesty is the best policy." In the matter of a marriage, this is absolutely the case. Take into consideration the fact that you two share a home together, and perhaps you share children; most importantly, you share your lives together. There is few and far between that you can hide from your spouse. Take time and think about things that you need to share with your spouse and let them know. If it is an issue, the two of you should be able to work through them.

Nonverbal Signals

Not everything that is important that is communicated, especially between two spouses, takes on a verbal valence. Rather, there are certain things that you should pick up on that do not have a verbal cue. There are certain things that you can pick up on to indicate that your spouse is interested or complicit with what you are saying, such as leaning forward or touching your body in some way. Disinterest or disagreement might come in the form of a lack of eye contact or folding their arms.

Focus On The Here And Now

Arguments, especially among spouses, can tend to stray from the original subject matter. When it comes to arguing, make sure that you focus on the subject matter at hand. Sometimes, this can be difficult, as a certain argument can make you think of something that your spouse did in the past, or you can simply bring up something suspect that they did in order to gain the upper hand in the argument. This can cause bad blood and make sure to avoid this phenomenon.

When it comes to maintaining a robust marriage, it is important to have a fantastic sense of communication. If you find that you are having communication issues with your spouse, you might want to consider going to couples counseling to further improve you and your spouse's communication.